Please note that this article contains language that some readers may find offensive
Researchers at the National Library of Scotland (NLS) have discovered a Gaelic poem by a 16th century Scottish noblewoman that contains a startling ode to her priest’s genitals.
The poem is attributed to Iseabail Ní Mheic Cailéin, Countess of Argyll.
It was found in The Book of the Dean of Lismore, held in the NLS’ collections, when a BBC Alba television crew was researching the documentary Feise ann an Gàidhlig (Sex in Gaelic).
The Book of the Dean of Lismore was compiled by James MacGregor (1480-1551), otherwise known as the Dean of Lismore. The volume contains mostly Gaelic poetry, as well some miscellaneous items in Scots, Latin and English. It is one of NLS’ most treasured literary Gaelic manuscripts and is inscribed in the UNESCO Memory of the World register.
Chris Cassells’, NLS’ Head of Manuscripts, said: “In 16th century Scotland, when staying with a friend it was common courtesy to regale your host with your best songs, stories, and poems. We estimate that around the year 1500, Iseabail Ní Mheic Cailéin visited James MacGregor in Perthshire.
“When Iseabail recited her poetry to MacGregor, she may or may not have been aware that he was in the habit of copying down his favourites. Subsequently, Iseabail Ní Mheic Cailéin has become known in niche circles as a writer of erotic poetry during the Middle Ages – not exactly a time we associate with sexual liberation.”
The volume contains three poems by Iseabail, ‘Atá fleasgach ar mo thí’, ‘Éistibh a luchd an tighe-se’ and ‘Is mairg dá ngalar an grádh’.
While the other poems have religious themes, ‘Éistibh a luchd an tighe-se’, has been described by Thomas Clancy, Professor of Celtic at the University of Glasgow, as a “fairly obscene boast to the court circle on the size and potency of her household priest's penis”.
While Iseabail’s relationship to the priest is not known, the poem reads:
Éistibh a luchd an tighe-se
re scél na mbod brioghmhar
do shanntaich mo chridhe-sa
cuid dana scéalaibh do sgriobhadh.
Cé líonmhor bod bréagh-bhileach
do bhí san aimsir romhainn
tá aig fear an úird chrábhaidh seo
bod as cho mór righinn.
Bod mo shagairt thuarasdail
cé tá cho fada seasmhach
o tha céin ní chualabhair
an reabh atá ina mhacan.
Atá a riabh ro-reamhar
an sin ’s ní h-é scéal bréagach
nocha chuala cho-reamhar
mhotha bhod arís.
Éistibh!
Which translates as:
Listen, everyone in the house,
to the tales that have been written
of the energetic cocks
with which my heart is smitten.
Forget the fine-lipped cocks
so plentiful in the past:
this man of holy orders
has a cock at least as vast.
The cock of my salaried priest
is not only lasting and long;
you won’t have heard, in ages,
of such a wide dong.
It has always been this thick –
I promise these aren’t lies –
you’ll never again hear of a cock
comparable in size.
Listen!
Chris Cassells added: “From Father Peter in Lisa McGee's Derry Girls to Fleabag to the burgeoning sub-genre of priest romance novels, the 'hot priest' archetype continues to resonate 500 years later. Iseabail’s poem shows this is not a modern invention.”
You can view the digitised Book of the Dean of Lismore on the NLS website.
